What does the way you speak to your spouse have to do with your lingering marriage problems? If you are to a point of absolute misery in your marriage but want to work things out so you can stay together, the first thing y
What you want when you initiate a conversation with your spouse is for them to relax and be open to what you have to say. Yet, most people actually approach the conversation with a tone that is too rough or accusatory and essentially puts the other person on guard instead. This is not deliberate, but it is why so many people do not understand why their spouse doesn’t respond to them well.
Chances are you do the same thing on a regular basis without even realizing it! So many people say they just don’t understand why their spouse won’t open up and talk to them. What they don’t realize is that they are shutting down that possibility by the tone of their voice or their choice of words when they initiate the conversation.
The problem is that there is such a surge of raw, painful emotion that lurks behind every conversation a struggling couple has. In order to push past this, you have to first recognize it is there. Then, you need new strategies to get your spouse to drop his/her guard and have a real conversation that can lead to healing action.
For starters, the time that you pick to talk with your spouse should always be when they are in a good mood and relaxed. So, you don’t want to come at them the second they come home from being fired at their job or just seconds after they hang up the phone from a tense work related conversation.
Next, you want to control your tone of voice so that it does not even hint that you may be angry with them or that you blame them for something that is going on. The wrong tone can shut down any chance of your spouse really listening to you before you even get to what you really want to say.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
This is a way to open the door for deeper conversation so that you move beyond the blame and angry accusations and really start to fix your marriage problems before it is too late.
